*a little wish*
’protecting and sharing fertility though friendship’
Welcome to *a little wish*
‘Sharing Fertility’
You may be reading this page looking for information to help you on a different path to overcome infertility via surrogacy or gamete donation …
Or
You may be reading this page looking for information to help you ‘share’ your fertility by being a surrogate mother or a gamete donor.
Or
To learn more about the subjects we cover to educate, help, or inform your self and others.
*a little wish* is lovely, welcoming, friendly growing community. Our community offers support and information for those that wish to find out more about ‘sharing fertility’. Everyone is an individual and will have a unique, but similar situation to others. We are here to share and support though experiences, knowledge and humour where possible.
You may have arrived here by a personal recommendation, an internet search, or by seeing the awareness that *a little wish* undertakes to continue to bring these subjects into the open to show options that are available and how positive they can be for all involved. Today there are many newspaper and magazine articles, news and documentaries on the television and radio programmes that cover the areas surrogacy and gamete donation.
For some people they are very certain it is what they want to do or need to do. By reading the information given in via this website, you can make a more informed decision and a step further into this journey. For some people reaching this point has been a very long and emotional journey for others a wonderful exciting chain of events.
After reading this information, you may wish to
* join our message board, if you have not done so, a place to introduce yourself and ask further questions.
* fill in and send to us the membership forms for you to continue your journey with us.
* contact us to introduce yourself and ask further questions.
* join us at a social event, to introduce yourself and ask further questions.
In 2006 members of our group discovered a problem with the law surrounding embryos and surrogacy and went public about this discrimination. No other groups were interested in helping, supporting or overcoming this problem so *a little wish* took on the task.
*a little wish * ‘Sharing Fertility’ grew from the need for a support group for surrogacy and a way to meet intended parents / surrogate mothers.
As many in *a little wish* have endured tragedy and trauma in different ways, both by nature and man, many feel we have a better empathetic view of infertility and are more compassionate, welcoming, open and supportive. Mixed with the experiences gathered by many others this makes *a little wish* uniquely placed in our fields.
*a little wish* works hard to raise awareness and education of surrogacy and even assists with articles in other countries that debate making surrogacy legal.
Due to our work/campaigning to extend the storage time for host surrogacy embryos we began contact with several professional organisations. Due to our dedication and professionalism the number of professional organisations has grown.
*British Medical Association, BMA
*Department of Health, DoH
*General Register Office
*Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, HFEA
*Ministry of Justice
*National Institute for Clinical Excellence, NICE
*Progress Educational Trust (BioNews)
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napies, PND, PPD, postnatal depression, post partum depression, miscarriage, cesarean, maternity, paternity, ER, Egg Retrieval, ED, ET, Egg Transfer, FET, Frozen Embryo
What is Surrogacy?
Surrogacy is where a fertile woman (surrogate) carries a child for an infertile couple. With surrogacy the intention is that the baby(ies) are handed over to the infertile couple Intended Parents (commissioning parents is an old term that is sometimes still used) at birth. The surrogate some times purely grows and nurtures the fetus/baby, sometimes she also donates an egg if the intended mother does not have any to use. (This is explained further in the Host Surrogacy / Straight Surrogacy section)
The baby(ies) are handed over to the intended parents at birth and from six weeks and no later then six months a legal process is started (a Parental Order) for the surrogate to relinquish her legal rights and for the intended parents to be granted theirs.
Surrogacy can be such a wonderful journey to undertake with the possibility of creating such a unique friendship and with a little bit of love and luck a baby comes into the world to join us all.
All babies are wonderful and special. Surrogacy babies are even more so, due to the commitment of the parents to undertake many hurdles to overcome their infertility and also from the surrogate and her family.
Surrogacy babies are extremely loved and wanted babies even before they come into existence.
We would love to say that surrogacy is a very short and easy journey, however like many things in life there is a lot of time and commitment involved into bringing something so truly wonderful into the world.
For surrogacy to be legal, one of the parents MUST be genetically related to the child therefore …
The use of the intended father’s sperm and the intended mother’s egg – legal surrogacy
The use of the intended father’s sperm and surrogate mothers egg – legal surrogacy
The use of the intended father’s sperm and donor egg – legal surrogacy
The use of donor sperm and the intended mothers egg – legal surrogacy
Donated embryos cannot be used in surrogacy.
Why do people consider Surrogacy?
Intended Parents
For some intended parents it is the only chance that they can have genetic child(ren).
The intended mother may not be able to conceive / carry a baby for many direct reasons,
- born without (ovaries) a uterus
- damaged or partial uterus
- has been given a hysterectomy
The intended mother may not be able to conceive / carry a baby for many indirect reasons,
- repeated miscarriage (if it is due to eggs, an egg donor should be considered, tried first)
- repeated ectopic pregnancies (which can be life threatening)
- other medical reasons
… insulin dependent diabetes
… heart conditions
… blood disorders (sever blood dyscrasia)
… hypertension
… kidney failure / organ transplant
Premature menopause will first be treated via an egg donation.
Surrogates
Surrogates look into and become surrogates for many different reasons.
Some surrogates try to think how they would feel if they were unable to have their own children. Many feel that they have been very lucky to have their own children and wish to ‘share their fertility’
Some surrogates have had family or friends close to them suffer or have infertility problems.
Some surrogates have had fertility problems of their own, and often during treatment they say that if they are successful they will share their fertility with others. When the time is right they keep to their promise.
Some surrogates want to help others and have a unique experience.
Some surrogates love being pregnant and giving birth, however they have completed their families. By choosing to be a surrogate they are able to have another pregnancy and give birth, without the disturbed nights and dirty nappies afterwards.
All Parties
Everything has positives and negatives and surrogacy is no different. In a surrogacy journey there needs to be trust, truth, honesty, respect and good communication.
*a little wish* is here to offer information and to guide you though surrogacy, provide information to help you make an informed decision.
*a little wish* is here to help you though your membership and to support your though your journey.
It is very important to get to know the people you will be working with very well. Friendships are easy at the beginning however surrogates do not want to be a few months pregnant with someone else’s baby and feel uncomfortable with them or no longer wish to communicate with them.
You need to know that even if misunderstandings occur that you will be able to continue your relationship with those you work with. By being part of *a little wish* if problems occur we can help to mediate between all parties.
To get to know each other well, we recommend that you spend at least three months getting to know each other. This will of course vary with the amount of contact you have. Some people may live close to each other and be able to meet up and chat often. If living further away it may take more time. Three months may seem like a long time, however if the relationship and communications stall during a pregnancy, even a few months will feel much much longer.
When trying to get pregnant via surrogacy the same health considerations should be included. Reduce or stop smoking. Many surrogates and intended parents do not wish to work with someone who does smoke. The same happens with those that drink alcohol. Smoking and/or drinking can reduce the chance of a pregnancy and cause harm to an unborn child, and babies have a higher rate of death after birth.
It is also a consideration to eat a balanced healthy diet, and you all need to discuss the pros and cons of folic acid. Both sides of the discussion can be found on our message board.
Everyone is different and we all choose our friends for different reasons and do not get on with everyone. Time needs to be taken to find the right people for your journey. Before starting a journey you need to discuss many aspects of surrogacy to make sure you all agree so problems during the pregnancy are reduced. No one wants to be in the position where an issue has arisen 6 months into the pregnancy and a wonderful friendship become strained or even breaks down.